Mishpatim: The fullness of life

Parshat Mishpatim Ex. 23: 26. There will be no bereaved or barren woman in your land; I will fill the number of your days.

An unsatisfying and perplexing verse. Rashi adds "There will be no bereaved… woman: if you comply with My will" but this does not fully resolve the discomfort for it implies that whenever we see someone who is bereaved or empty, it is their fault for being out of sync with divine will. We know, however, that bereavement happens eventually for all of us who love someone, whether or not we comply with the divine. And barrenness also happens to most of us at some point in life - not the barrenness of not bearing a child, but the barrenness of not being able to nurture creativity, bring forth new projects, achieve our goals. These are universal experiences. So what could the verse be telling us? 

The promise of the verse, including Rashi's addition, is that careful attention to the reality of being, can allow us to live our lives more fully. We will experience moments of bereavement and barrenness, but in understanding that these are part of what fill our lives, we can transcend them. We can find, even in bereavement and loss, a fullness, an appreciation of life's richness. The bereavement, the barrenness, like the winter, will eventually yield to spring filled with new insights.

May we learn to see even the painful, empty experiences as moments that are part of living fully. May we skillfully allow those painful experiences to open us to receive new insights and to deepen our compassion for ourselves and for others.

Parshat Bo: Blessing practice to soften the heart and awaken to the signs in our midst

Parshat Bo: Ex. X:1 - "And The Lord said to Moses: 'Go into Pharaoh; for I have hardened his heart, and the heart of his servants, that I might show these My signs in the midst of them;'"

With each successive plague Pharaoh's heart hardened until what was most dear to him was destroyed.  When the Pharaoh inside of us hardens, it often locks into place the repetition of destructive and self-defeating patterns. The result can be a mounting toll of broken relationships and wasted opportunities. How bad does it need to get before we see the signs in our midst? What can we do to soften our own hearts and open our own eyes to the truth?

There is a simple blessing practice** that can be helpful:

Find a quiet time and space.

Sit comfortably on a chair or a pillow.

Close your eyes.

Breathe in and out slowly, steadily and calmly.

After you have established a rhythm, staying with your breath, and with kavanah (intention), repeat each of these phrases:

May you be blessed with simcha (joy),

May you be blessed with chesed (loving-kindness),

May you be blessed with rachamim (compassion),

May you be blessed with shalom (peace).

Call to mind someone who you trust fully has your best interests at heart (a "benefactor"). Visualize this person - how they look, how they sound, how they feel. Now visualize this person awash in joy, then awash in loving-kindness, then filled with compassion, and finally, filled with peace. Continue to repeat the phrases as you visualize or sense these qualities washing over and radiating from the benefactor. Really investigate the nature of the qualities of joy, loving-kindness, compassion and peace. 

Next visualize these qualities washing over you.

Next, call to mind a "difficult" person. Now call on these qualities to wash over the difficult person. 

Finally, send these qualities out into the universe for the benefit of all beings and close your meditation. 

Use this practice to bless yourself, a benefactor, a friend, a family member, or a difficult person in your life.  Often it is easiest to start with a benefactor.  The difficult person is usually most difficult to bless, but can also be most rewarding. See for yourself if this practice softens your heart and leads to more awareness of the "signs in your midst."

**We learned this practice from Rabbi Jeff Roth. See Chapter 7 of his book Jewish Meditation Practices for Everyday Life for a more extended set of instructions.

Mikeitz- Mercy Arising

Parshat Mikeitz - Gen 43: 29-30: " And he lifted his eyes and saw Benjamin, his brother, the son of his mother, and he said, "Is this your little brother, whom you told me about?" And he said, "May God favor you, my son. And Joseph hastened, for his mercy was stirred toward his brother, and he wanted to weep; so he went into the room and wept there."

How often do we, like Joseph, experience conflicting feelings that we hold inside? Joseph felt anger toward the brothers who had left him to die in the pit, loving-kindness toward Benjamin, and longing for his father. Initially, Joseph acted out of anger - tricking his older brothers and forcing them to leave Benjamin. Eventually, Joseph was able to move beyond his anger and forgive.

May we be blessed to allow ourselves to become aware of the full range of our emotions, from anger to compassion. May we, like Joseph, attain enough wisdom to allow lovingkindness to prevail.