Parshat Acharei - Change starts from the inside

Parshat Acharei Lev. 16:33 "And he shall effect atonement upon the Holy of Holies, and he shall effect atonement upon the Tent of Meeting and upon the altar, and he shall effect atonement upon the kohanim and upon all the people of the congregation.”

 When we seek to atone, to change, to start again, we can follow the model of the high priest. First, we must look deeply into our innermost being (the Holy of Holies inside), then we must look at our relationship with the transcendent (the Tent of Meeting). Once these have been put right, we can change our relationships with those who lead us and who those who are our companions. The key is starting from within.

May we be blessed to experience profound liberation, starting at the core of our beings, and proceeding to emanate from the core outward so that all of our relationships become wholesome and free.

Parshat Terumah: Facing the emptiness, we hear the holy.

Parshat Terumah. Exodus 25:20-22. The cherubim shall have their wings spread upwards, shielding the ark cover with their wings, with their faces toward one another; [turned] toward the ark cover shall be the faces of the cherubim. And you shall place the ark cover on the ark from above, and into the ark you shall place the testimony, which I will give you. I will arrange My meetings with you there, and I will speak with you from atop the ark cover from between the two cherubim that are upon the Ark of the Testimony, all that I will command you unto the children of Israel.

The instructions for building the ark and its cover elaborately describe creating forms. Yet the place from which God speaks is not from one of the created forms, but from the space between the forms, the two cherubim whose faces are turned toward each other. We can see in these instructions for building the ark the essential dance between form and flow, between creation and the emptiness from which it arises. We learn that to hear God's voice, we must turn toward each other in love, while creating space for new insight to arise.

Mishpatim: The fullness of life

Parshat Mishpatim Ex. 23: 26. There will be no bereaved or barren woman in your land; I will fill the number of your days.

An unsatisfying and perplexing verse. Rashi adds "There will be no bereaved… woman: if you comply with My will" but this does not fully resolve the discomfort for it implies that whenever we see someone who is bereaved or empty, it is their fault for being out of sync with divine will. We know, however, that bereavement happens eventually for all of us who love someone, whether or not we comply with the divine. And barrenness also happens to most of us at some point in life - not the barrenness of not bearing a child, but the barrenness of not being able to nurture creativity, bring forth new projects, achieve our goals. These are universal experiences. So what could the verse be telling us? 

The promise of the verse, including Rashi's addition, is that careful attention to the reality of being, can allow us to live our lives more fully. We will experience moments of bereavement and barrenness, but in understanding that these are part of what fill our lives, we can transcend them. We can find, even in bereavement and loss, a fullness, an appreciation of life's richness. The bereavement, the barrenness, like the winter, will eventually yield to spring filled with new insights.

May we learn to see even the painful, empty experiences as moments that are part of living fully. May we skillfully allow those painful experiences to open us to receive new insights and to deepen our compassion for ourselves and for others.

Parshat Bo: Blessing practice to soften the heart and awaken to the signs in our midst

Parshat Bo: Ex. X:1 - "And The Lord said to Moses: 'Go into Pharaoh; for I have hardened his heart, and the heart of his servants, that I might show these My signs in the midst of them;'"

With each successive plague Pharaoh's heart hardened until what was most dear to him was destroyed.  When the Pharaoh inside of us hardens, it often locks into place the repetition of destructive and self-defeating patterns. The result can be a mounting toll of broken relationships and wasted opportunities. How bad does it need to get before we see the signs in our midst? What can we do to soften our own hearts and open our own eyes to the truth?

There is a simple blessing practice** that can be helpful:

Find a quiet time and space.

Sit comfortably on a chair or a pillow.

Close your eyes.

Breathe in and out slowly, steadily and calmly.

After you have established a rhythm, staying with your breath, and with kavanah (intention), repeat each of these phrases:

May you be blessed with simcha (joy),

May you be blessed with chesed (loving-kindness),

May you be blessed with rachamim (compassion),

May you be blessed with shalom (peace).

Call to mind someone who you trust fully has your best interests at heart (a "benefactor"). Visualize this person - how they look, how they sound, how they feel. Now visualize this person awash in joy, then awash in loving-kindness, then filled with compassion, and finally, filled with peace. Continue to repeat the phrases as you visualize or sense these qualities washing over and radiating from the benefactor. Really investigate the nature of the qualities of joy, loving-kindness, compassion and peace. 

Next visualize these qualities washing over you.

Next, call to mind a "difficult" person. Now call on these qualities to wash over the difficult person. 

Finally, send these qualities out into the universe for the benefit of all beings and close your meditation. 

Use this practice to bless yourself, a benefactor, a friend, a family member, or a difficult person in your life.  Often it is easiest to start with a benefactor.  The difficult person is usually most difficult to bless, but can also be most rewarding. See for yourself if this practice softens your heart and leads to more awareness of the "signs in your midst."

**We learned this practice from Rabbi Jeff Roth. See Chapter 7 of his book Jewish Meditation Practices for Everyday Life for a more extended set of instructions.

Mikeitz- Mercy Arising

Parshat Mikeitz - Gen 43: 29-30: " And he lifted his eyes and saw Benjamin, his brother, the son of his mother, and he said, "Is this your little brother, whom you told me about?" And he said, "May God favor you, my son. And Joseph hastened, for his mercy was stirred toward his brother, and he wanted to weep; so he went into the room and wept there."

How often do we, like Joseph, experience conflicting feelings that we hold inside? Joseph felt anger toward the brothers who had left him to die in the pit, loving-kindness toward Benjamin, and longing for his father. Initially, Joseph acted out of anger - tricking his older brothers and forcing them to leave Benjamin. Eventually, Joseph was able to move beyond his anger and forgive.

May we be blessed to allow ourselves to become aware of the full range of our emotions, from anger to compassion. May we, like Joseph, attain enough wisdom to allow lovingkindness to prevail.

Vayishlach: Seeking the name of mystery

Parshat Vayishlach

Gen 32:25 - 31 

25. And Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him until the break  of dawn.
26. When he saw that he could not prevail against him, he touched the  socket of his hip, and the socket of Jacob's hip became dislocated as he wrestled with him.
27. And he (the angel) said, "Let me go, for dawn is breaking," but he  (Jacob) said, "I will not let you go unless you have blessed me."
28. So he said to him, "What is your name?" and he said, "Jacob."
29. And he said, "Your name shall no longer be called Jacob, but Israel, because you have commanding power with [an angel of] God and with men, and you have prevailed."

30. And Jacob asked and said, "Now tell me your name," and he said, "Why is it that you ask for my name?" And he blessed him there.

31. And Jacob named the place Peniel, for [he said,] "I saw an angel face to face, and my soul was saved."

When Jacob asks the angel's name, the angel replies with a question. Apparently, Jacob never learns the name of the angel, even though he saw the angel face to face and received the angel's blessing. This is the reverse of Moses' encounter with God when Moses is in the cleft of the mountain. At that time, God told Moses that Moses can not see God's face, but that God will proclaim God's name before him.

In each of these encounters, the person is seeking to know the divine more deeply, yet the divine holds back from being completely known. The angel holds back telling his name. God holds back showing God's face. This reminds us that the closest encounter with the divine necessarily includes an element of mystery and of incompleteness. We are a finite vessel into which the infinite is poured, and we cannot contain the entirety of the flow. 

But although we can never know the divine completely, we can appreciate the desire that impels us to know the divine just a little more.

May we be blessed to have our unanswered questions and our unanswered desires fuel our search for closeness to and alignment with the divine.

Emor: Don't cut yourself off for fear of mortality

Emor Leviticus 21:1-3

1. And the Lord said to Moses: Speak to the kohanim, the sons of Aaron, and say to them: Let none [of you] make himself tamei for a dead person among his people        
2. except for his relative who is close to him, his mother, his father, his son, his daughter, his brother,        :
3. and for his virgin sister who is close to him, who was not [yet] with a man for her, he shall make himself tamei.


I am at a hospice conference this week, and am once again inspired by the vision that hospice has of facilitating the "sacred space" at the end of life. One large hospice (Hospice of Michigan) uses language about "sacred space" in their mission statement, saying:

• Honor life to the end
• Be witnesses to the spirit of life
• Recognize the sacredness of leaving; honor the feelings of loss
• Ensure patients and families achieve their quality-of-life goals while under our care

At first reading, the instructions in Emor seem to be telling us the opposite - that being around a dead person leads to a state of tamei. And if being around a dead person can make us tamei, then we might "put a fence around the torah" and not want to be around someone who is very close to dying, for fear of being present at the moment of death and thus becoming tamei.

But I think there is a different way to read the text's instruction to us. Instead of meaning "don't go near a dead person (or someone close to being dead), the text can be seen as telling us: "don't make yourself tamei because there is death among the people." If we understand tamei as the state of being closed off (and tahor as the state of being open to the flow of life), then the text is telling us "don't close yourself off from the fact of mortality."  The text is actually saying - "go, be with people near death, help them stay connected, don't let the flow of holiness be cut off. You can go with them up to the edge, don't make yourself cut off from them and from holiness." However, there is an exception for  one's own loved ones and close family. With our own family, we may make ourselves "tamei" - we may close off, retreat, pull back from the flow. The reality of the pain of personal grief is acknowledged, and we are not expected to stay fully connected to holiness in that circumstance. At a time of personal grief, we must rely on others to keep the holy connection present; we cannot do it for ourselves.

Here is an article about a hospice doula program that describes how volunteers help to keep this "flow" of communication, of love, of sacredness, going, even up to the very edge of life.



May we have the strength to stay connected to holiness, even in the face of mortality. And when that mortality comes close enough to touch our own families, may we have the wisdom to retreat, reflect and accept the help of others.

Acharei-Kedoshim

Acharei-Kedoshim Lev. 19:18 "You shall not take vengeance, nor bear any grudge against the children of your people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself.”

How can and should we respond to evil and callousness in our midst?  The uncle of one of the Boston Marathon suspects pleads, “if you are alive, turn yourself in and ask for forgiveness.”  The West Texas fertilizer plant had last been inspected by OSHA in 1985.  Suffering and evil are real and deeply unsettling. 

May we send blessings of strength to those who seek to protect us and blessings of healing - refuach shlema – to our neighbors in the Boston and West Texas areas who have courageously confronted profound tragedy this week.

Tzav - pleasing fragrance

Parsha Tzav
Leviticus 6:8. "And he shall lift out of it in his fist, from the fine flour of the meal offering and from its oil and all the frankincense that is on the meal offering, and he shall cause its reminder to [go up in] smoke on the altar as a pleasing fragrance to the Lord.”
Leviticus 8:21 "But the innards and the legs, he washed in water, and Moses made the entire ram [go up in] smoke on the altar. It was a burnt offering [with] a pleasing fragrance, a fire offering to the Lord, as the Lord had commanded Moses.”


The sacrifices (the korban – with a Hebrew root implying drawing near) involved all the senses. We can imagine the sound of the live animal, the feel of the blood spattering, the heat of the fire, the site of the animals carcass, In the text, all of these sensations seem to be leading toward the “sweet savour” or “pleasing fragrance” for God. What is it about smell and scent that would call it to be singled out as the main sense making the sacrifice complete?

Smell – it evokes strong emotion. Some smells are so disgusting they can make us retch. Others are so lovely they can make us swoon or feel as though we are in love.  Smells evoke specific memory. And without smell, we cannot taste properly.

Smell is carried through the air, around barriers,  through cracks. A smell is often the first warning of danger – such as smelling the smoke of a fire.

Smell is at once the most individual of senses – infants can distinguish the scent of their mother’s breastmilk from other women’s milk – and the most democratic – you cannot confine a perfume that you might wear to be smelled by just one person in a room. It permeates the whole space.

If our deeds and prayers are the modern sacrifice, how then do we make them a “pleasing fragrance” that elevates them from the mundane to the holy?

They must be very individual– something that we are uniquely suited to do, something that expresses the very essence of ourselves. And we must release them freely into the world. We can’t just target our tzedakah or our prayers to people we know and love. We have to trust that our efforts will reach people in need.  Finally, to be like  a sweet savour, we have to acknowledge that just as taste is not complete  without smell, prayer is not fully realized without kavannah.

May we be blessed to act and pray in ways that uniquely express our true nature so that those actions and prayers are received like the coming fragrances of spring.

Parshat Vayakhel

Exodus 35:2: Six days work may be done, but on the seventh day you shall have sanctity, a day of complete rest to the Lord; whoever performs work thereon [on this day] shall be put to death.


This is a lived reality for me. If I don't honor the cycle of work and rest - daily, weekly, yearly - then parts of me begin to shrivel and die. Without a break from striving and working, my capacity to wonder, to appreciate, to honor life, begins to wither.

May we remember to honor periods of rest and reflection, and may this rest connect us to the wondrous, pulsing rhythms of life.

Parshat Ki Tissa

Ex. 32:1-4.  And when the people saw that Moses delayed to come down from the mount, the people gathered themselves together to Aaron, and said to him: Make us a god who shall go before us; for as for this Moses, the man that brought us up out of the land of Egypt, we know not what is become of him.”  And Aaron said to them: “Break off the golden rings, which are in the ears of your wives, of your sons, and of your daughters, and bring them to me.”  And all the people broke off the golden rings which were in their ears, and brought them to Aaron And he received it at their hand, and fashioned it with a graving tool, and made it a molten calf; and they said: “This is your god, O Israel, which brought you out of the land of Egypt.”

After Moses fails to return down from Mt. Sinai for what seems like an interminable time, Aaron tries to placate the desires, fears and doubts of the people by making a golden calf.  In contrast to the wise-hearted people who were called to build and furnish the miskan and create garments for the priest following  precise and detailed instructions, the description of the making of the golden calf is remarkably brief.  It almost made itself, just like our ego-driven desires, fears, and doubts often seem to have a life of their own beyond our awareness and control.

May we be blessed to make the space and take the time to allow insight to arise so that we can be wise-hearted builders, rather than mindless slaves to our immediate cravings.

Parsht Tetsaveh: Wrapped in wise-heartedness

 Ex. 28:3. And you shall speak to all the wise hearted, whom I have filled with the spirit of wisdom, and they shall make Aaron's garments to sanctify him, [so] that he serve Me.

After this statement, the text goes on to speak in great detail about all the parts of the garments, of how they are to be constructed, of the colors, of the placement of hems and gold chains and bells and embroidered pomegranates. We might be tempted to think that it is the beauty and uniqueness of the clothes themselves that enables Aaron to serve God. But look again at the text - it says that that the wise hearted shall make Aaron's garments to sanctify him.  The text is telling us that there is something in the process of how these spirit-filled people clothe Aaron that sanctifies him.  Perhaps it is the lovingkindness that the wise hearted bring to the process of creation that is woven into the garments that inspires Aaron to serve.

May we recognize the way the wisdom from our friends and loved ones enwraps us in a layer of protection, helping us to tap into our own spirit through which we are able to serve others.

Parshat Terumah: the ark and its poles

 Ex. 25:15: The poles of the ark shall be in the rings; they shall not be removed from it.

The prohibition against the removal of the poles from the ark is one of the 613 Divine precepts. Although the table and the two altars also had rings and poles, there is no similar prohibition against removing their poles. Why so for the ark?*

This teaches us that the Torah is not a fixed, immovable text, but rather a practice we must constantly carry with us into our lives. 

May we be inspired to bring the wisdom of Torah with us on every step of our journey.

Parshat Bashalach

 Exodus 14:10  Pharaoh drew near, and the children of Israel lifted up their eyes, and behold! the Egyptians were advancing after them. They were very frightened, and the children of Israel cried out to the Lord.
Exodus 14:19-21 Then the angel of God, who had been going in front of the Israelite camp, moved and went behind them, and the pillar of cloud moved away from in front of them and stood behind them.  And he came between the camp of Egypt and the camp of Israel, and there were the cloud and the darkness, and it illuminated the night, and one did not draw near the other all night long. And Moses stretched out his hand over the sea, and the Lord led the sea with the strong east wind all night, and He made the sea into dry land and the waters split.

When we are being pursued by powerful forces that frighten us, when we are stuck with no where else to go, what can we do? We must pause and make a space. We must withdraw just enough, not engage directly in a fight. In that pause, we breathe. Centering on the breathe, insight arises and we miraculously see a new way forward opening before us.

When pursued by the frightening events of life, may we find the strength to pause, to reflect, to draw breath. And may we then discover a new way forward.

Parshat Va-ayra

Parshat Va-ayra - Exodus 7:22: after the water turns to blood:”… and Pharaoh’s heart remained strong, and he did not listen to them.”
Exodus 9:34: after the hail stopped: “ he continued to sin: he made his heart heavy”

When first faced with Moses’ demands, Pharaoh’s heart was strengthened. Is this not a good thing? Pharaoh had to deal with a very difficult situation, a potential rebellion, a potential revolution. He needed to respond with strength and wisdom.  But Pharaoh used his strength to not listen.  This is the sin – to not listen fully.  And because of this refusal to listen, Pharaoh’s heart became heavy with rigidity.

May we use our strength to listen even to very difficult messages, so that our heart does not become so rigid, so hard, and so heavy that we cannot go forward.

Parshat Shemot

Ex. Ch. 1:8 – “Now there arose a new king of Egypt, who knew not Joseph.”

This line may be read as: “And now there arose a new ruler over the narrow places (mitzraim) within ourselves, who knew not the tzaddik, the yearning to connect with the holy one of blessing within us.

This week I had a skiing accident (non-life threatening) on a family vacation in West Virginia.  All of the temptations of ego arose and arise, like self-pity and fear over the length of recovery.  All this week I have been struggling to remember what I have learned in meditation, which is to try to not suppress these desires and fears, but to allow these emotions to arise and watch them burn like the bush in the parsha, but not be consumed by them.

May we, like Shiphrah, Puah, Miriam, and Moses of this parsha have the bravery to resist external oppression, but may we also have the courage and patience to respond wisely to doubt and anxiety within.

Parshat Vayyechi

Gen 50:19-21 – “But Yosef said to them: Do not be afraid!  For am I in the place of God?  Now you, you planned ill against me, (but) God planned it over for good, in order to do (as is) this very day – to keep many people alive. So now, do not be afraid!  I myself will sustain you and your little ones!  And he comforted them and spoke to their hearts.”

Yosef, who was thrown into a pit by his brothers to be devoured by wild beasts, and later put into the dungeon by Potiphar, could have remained bitter all of his life.  Instead, Yosef was able to learn from his pain and suffering, first to gain insight to interpret dreams, later to advise Pharaoh, and finally to forgive and comfort his brothers.  How was Yosef able to do this? Over time, Yosef learned to listen to and respond from his heart, rather than his ego. While in his youth he brought an ill report of his brothers to his father. In his maturity he wept when he heard his brothers arguing over which of them was responsible for his death (Gen. 42:22-24), when he first saw Benyamin (Gen. 43:29-30), and when he revealed himself to his brothers (Gen. 45:1-2 14-15).

May we, like Yosef, open our hearts, forgive, and comfort ourselves, our families, and our communities.

Parshat Mikeitz

Gen 44:16-17. “And Judah said, "What shall we say to my master? What shall we speak, and how shall we exonerate ourselves? God has found your servants' iniquity both we and the one in whose possession the goblet has been found."   But he said, "Far be it from me to do this! The man in whose possession the goblet was found he shall be my slave, but as for you go up in peace to your father."

In the context of the several deceptions that Joseph has perpetuated on this brothers, is his statement, “But as for you, go up in peace to your father,” sincere? Joseph knows full well that they will not be at ease or at peace while returning to see their father lacking yet one more of the brothers. There seems a great gulf between Joseph’s words and actions.  The parsha ends abruptly with Joseph’s statement. It almost feels like a cliffhanger. Will the brother’s be reconciled? How will they respond to Joseph’s psychological test? Will Jacob die on hearing that Benjamin, too, has been taken from him? We are launched into the week not knowing.

How often we find ourselves in a similar situation of not knowing how things will turn out, not knowing our own true intentions, not knowing how to match up our actions, words, and best intentions. Even sitting quietly in meditation, we sometimes become lost in mind-storms or heart-storms.  By continuing to sit and observe these storms, we learn that we must cultivate a courageous patience to stay steady while waiting for an insight to arise. We saw last week that one of Joseph’s great strengths was his patience to sit and dwell with his thoughts and feelings before acting. Here, the very structure of the parsha hints that in times of great drama and turmoil, a quiet interlude can be helpful in allowing a true intention for peace to be manifested.    

May we be blessed, like Joseph, to have patience with ourselves and others, even in the midst of intense mind-storms and to reflect long enough before acting so that our intention for peace may be skillfully manifested in both our words and our actions.

Parshat Vayigash

Gen 39:7-9. “And it came to pass after these things, that his master’s wife cast her eyes upon Joseph, and she said: ‘Lie with me.’  But he refused, and said to his master’s wife: ‘Behold, my master, having me, knows not what is in the house, and he has put all that he has into my hand, he is not greater in this house than I, neither has he kept back anything from me but you, because you are his wife.  How can I do this great wickedness, and sin against God.”

One of Joseph’s greatest strengths was his ability to sit and dwell with his thoughts and feelings before acting, the patience learned from his time in the pit he was thrown into by his brothers and later the prison he was cast into by Potiphar, the captain of Pharaoh’s guard.  The shalshelet is the trop mark with the longest melody (about 30 notes) and is found only four times in the torah.  Joseph’s ability to struggle with and reflect on his desires within before acting is symbolized by the use of the shalshelet over the word “Vayiman” (but he refused) in Gen. 39:8.    

May we be blessed, like Joseph, to be able to hesitate and become aware of our desires before acting so that we can make decisions based on insight rather than as slaves to passion.*

*This drash was inspired by a drash given this week by Rabbi Gil Steinlauf (Adas Israel).  Rabbi Steinlauf and others recently started the Jewish Mindfulness Center of Washington, which hosts weekly meditation sessions free and open to the public at Adas Israel on Tuesdays from 7:30 to 8:45 pm.

Parshat Vayishlach: What "I do not know" teaches us

Gen 35:13-14. And God went up from him in the place where He had spoken with him. Now Jacob had erected a monument in the place where He had spoken with him, a stone monument, and he poured a libation upon it, and [then] he poured oil upon it.

Rashi comments on the phrase “in the place where He had spoken with him” saying “I do not know what this teaches us.”


This is one of several places where Rashi says “I do not know what this teaches us.” Nechama Leibowitz taught* that this shows Rashi’s literal fulfillment of one of the seven marks of the wise man outlined in Pirke Avot (5:8): “Regarding that which he has not understood, he says ... I do not understand it.”

Yet why does Rashi point out here, exactly here, that there is something he doesn’t understand? Something in the text has caught Rashi’s attention. He points to the repeated statement “in the place where he had spoken to him.” He draws our attention to this phrase. He arouses our curiosity. He makes us examine it more closely. What hidden treasure did Rashi glimpse here? By saying he doesn’t know, Rashi points us in the direction of valuing the question itself, of valuing the direct experience of Torah. Follow Rashi’s example. With a sense of awe and not knowing, contemplate this phrase. Visualize the place where Israel and God spoke. Imagine Jacob’s veneration of that place. Find the place where you return, again and again, to speak with the Source of Being. See whether “I do not know” can be a springboard for wonder and discovery.

May we hold our “not knowing” with awe, seeing how questions draw us ever closer to the Source.

*Nechama Liebowitz according to Rabbi Chuck Diamon. see: http://www.thejewishchronicle.net/view/full_story/4556715/article-It%E2%80%99s-a-sign-of-the-wise-to-say--%E2%80%98I-don%E2%80%99t-know%E2%80%99-Toledot--Genesis-25-19-28-9-?instance=news_special_coverage_right_column