Vayishlach: Seeking the name of mystery

Parshat Vayishlach

Gen 32:25 - 31 

25. And Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him until the break  of dawn.
26. When he saw that he could not prevail against him, he touched the  socket of his hip, and the socket of Jacob's hip became dislocated as he wrestled with him.
27. And he (the angel) said, "Let me go, for dawn is breaking," but he  (Jacob) said, "I will not let you go unless you have blessed me."
28. So he said to him, "What is your name?" and he said, "Jacob."
29. And he said, "Your name shall no longer be called Jacob, but Israel, because you have commanding power with [an angel of] God and with men, and you have prevailed."

30. And Jacob asked and said, "Now tell me your name," and he said, "Why is it that you ask for my name?" And he blessed him there.

31. And Jacob named the place Peniel, for [he said,] "I saw an angel face to face, and my soul was saved."

When Jacob asks the angel's name, the angel replies with a question. Apparently, Jacob never learns the name of the angel, even though he saw the angel face to face and received the angel's blessing. This is the reverse of Moses' encounter with God when Moses is in the cleft of the mountain. At that time, God told Moses that Moses can not see God's face, but that God will proclaim God's name before him.

In each of these encounters, the person is seeking to know the divine more deeply, yet the divine holds back from being completely known. The angel holds back telling his name. God holds back showing God's face. This reminds us that the closest encounter with the divine necessarily includes an element of mystery and of incompleteness. We are a finite vessel into which the infinite is poured, and we cannot contain the entirety of the flow. 

But although we can never know the divine completely, we can appreciate the desire that impels us to know the divine just a little more.

May we be blessed to have our unanswered questions and our unanswered desires fuel our search for closeness to and alignment with the divine.

Tzav - pleasing fragrance

Parsha Tzav
Leviticus 6:8. "And he shall lift out of it in his fist, from the fine flour of the meal offering and from its oil and all the frankincense that is on the meal offering, and he shall cause its reminder to [go up in] smoke on the altar as a pleasing fragrance to the Lord.”
Leviticus 8:21 "But the innards and the legs, he washed in water, and Moses made the entire ram [go up in] smoke on the altar. It was a burnt offering [with] a pleasing fragrance, a fire offering to the Lord, as the Lord had commanded Moses.”


The sacrifices (the korban – with a Hebrew root implying drawing near) involved all the senses. We can imagine the sound of the live animal, the feel of the blood spattering, the heat of the fire, the site of the animals carcass, In the text, all of these sensations seem to be leading toward the “sweet savour” or “pleasing fragrance” for God. What is it about smell and scent that would call it to be singled out as the main sense making the sacrifice complete?

Smell – it evokes strong emotion. Some smells are so disgusting they can make us retch. Others are so lovely they can make us swoon or feel as though we are in love.  Smells evoke specific memory. And without smell, we cannot taste properly.

Smell is carried through the air, around barriers,  through cracks. A smell is often the first warning of danger – such as smelling the smoke of a fire.

Smell is at once the most individual of senses – infants can distinguish the scent of their mother’s breastmilk from other women’s milk – and the most democratic – you cannot confine a perfume that you might wear to be smelled by just one person in a room. It permeates the whole space.

If our deeds and prayers are the modern sacrifice, how then do we make them a “pleasing fragrance” that elevates them from the mundane to the holy?

They must be very individual– something that we are uniquely suited to do, something that expresses the very essence of ourselves. And we must release them freely into the world. We can’t just target our tzedakah or our prayers to people we know and love. We have to trust that our efforts will reach people in need.  Finally, to be like  a sweet savour, we have to acknowledge that just as taste is not complete  without smell, prayer is not fully realized without kavannah.

May we be blessed to act and pray in ways that uniquely express our true nature so that those actions and prayers are received like the coming fragrances of spring.

Parshat Vayakhel

Exodus 35:2: Six days work may be done, but on the seventh day you shall have sanctity, a day of complete rest to the Lord; whoever performs work thereon [on this day] shall be put to death.


This is a lived reality for me. If I don't honor the cycle of work and rest - daily, weekly, yearly - then parts of me begin to shrivel and die. Without a break from striving and working, my capacity to wonder, to appreciate, to honor life, begins to wither.

May we remember to honor periods of rest and reflection, and may this rest connect us to the wondrous, pulsing rhythms of life.

Parshat Ki Tissa

Ex. 32:1-4.  And when the people saw that Moses delayed to come down from the mount, the people gathered themselves together to Aaron, and said to him: Make us a god who shall go before us; for as for this Moses, the man that brought us up out of the land of Egypt, we know not what is become of him.”  And Aaron said to them: “Break off the golden rings, which are in the ears of your wives, of your sons, and of your daughters, and bring them to me.”  And all the people broke off the golden rings which were in their ears, and brought them to Aaron And he received it at their hand, and fashioned it with a graving tool, and made it a molten calf; and they said: “This is your god, O Israel, which brought you out of the land of Egypt.”

After Moses fails to return down from Mt. Sinai for what seems like an interminable time, Aaron tries to placate the desires, fears and doubts of the people by making a golden calf.  In contrast to the wise-hearted people who were called to build and furnish the miskan and create garments for the priest following  precise and detailed instructions, the description of the making of the golden calf is remarkably brief.  It almost made itself, just like our ego-driven desires, fears, and doubts often seem to have a life of their own beyond our awareness and control.

May we be blessed to make the space and take the time to allow insight to arise so that we can be wise-hearted builders, rather than mindless slaves to our immediate cravings.

Parsht Tetsaveh: Wrapped in wise-heartedness

 Ex. 28:3. And you shall speak to all the wise hearted, whom I have filled with the spirit of wisdom, and they shall make Aaron's garments to sanctify him, [so] that he serve Me.

After this statement, the text goes on to speak in great detail about all the parts of the garments, of how they are to be constructed, of the colors, of the placement of hems and gold chains and bells and embroidered pomegranates. We might be tempted to think that it is the beauty and uniqueness of the clothes themselves that enables Aaron to serve God. But look again at the text - it says that that the wise hearted shall make Aaron's garments to sanctify him.  The text is telling us that there is something in the process of how these spirit-filled people clothe Aaron that sanctifies him.  Perhaps it is the lovingkindness that the wise hearted bring to the process of creation that is woven into the garments that inspires Aaron to serve.

May we recognize the way the wisdom from our friends and loved ones enwraps us in a layer of protection, helping us to tap into our own spirit through which we are able to serve others.

Parshat Terumah: the ark and its poles

 Ex. 25:15: The poles of the ark shall be in the rings; they shall not be removed from it.

The prohibition against the removal of the poles from the ark is one of the 613 Divine precepts. Although the table and the two altars also had rings and poles, there is no similar prohibition against removing their poles. Why so for the ark?*

This teaches us that the Torah is not a fixed, immovable text, but rather a practice we must constantly carry with us into our lives. 

May we be inspired to bring the wisdom of Torah with us on every step of our journey.

Parshat Bashalach

 Exodus 14:10  Pharaoh drew near, and the children of Israel lifted up their eyes, and behold! the Egyptians were advancing after them. They were very frightened, and the children of Israel cried out to the Lord.
Exodus 14:19-21 Then the angel of God, who had been going in front of the Israelite camp, moved and went behind them, and the pillar of cloud moved away from in front of them and stood behind them.  And he came between the camp of Egypt and the camp of Israel, and there were the cloud and the darkness, and it illuminated the night, and one did not draw near the other all night long. And Moses stretched out his hand over the sea, and the Lord led the sea with the strong east wind all night, and He made the sea into dry land and the waters split.

When we are being pursued by powerful forces that frighten us, when we are stuck with no where else to go, what can we do? We must pause and make a space. We must withdraw just enough, not engage directly in a fight. In that pause, we breathe. Centering on the breathe, insight arises and we miraculously see a new way forward opening before us.

When pursued by the frightening events of life, may we find the strength to pause, to reflect, to draw breath. And may we then discover a new way forward.

Parshat Va-ayra

Parshat Va-ayra - Exodus 7:22: after the water turns to blood:”… and Pharaoh’s heart remained strong, and he did not listen to them.”
Exodus 9:34: after the hail stopped: “ he continued to sin: he made his heart heavy”

When first faced with Moses’ demands, Pharaoh’s heart was strengthened. Is this not a good thing? Pharaoh had to deal with a very difficult situation, a potential rebellion, a potential revolution. He needed to respond with strength and wisdom.  But Pharaoh used his strength to not listen.  This is the sin – to not listen fully.  And because of this refusal to listen, Pharaoh’s heart became heavy with rigidity.

May we use our strength to listen even to very difficult messages, so that our heart does not become so rigid, so hard, and so heavy that we cannot go forward.

Parshat Shemot

Ex. Ch. 1:8 – “Now there arose a new king of Egypt, who knew not Joseph.”

This line may be read as: “And now there arose a new ruler over the narrow places (mitzraim) within ourselves, who knew not the tzaddik, the yearning to connect with the holy one of blessing within us.

This week I had a skiing accident (non-life threatening) on a family vacation in West Virginia.  All of the temptations of ego arose and arise, like self-pity and fear over the length of recovery.  All this week I have been struggling to remember what I have learned in meditation, which is to try to not suppress these desires and fears, but to allow these emotions to arise and watch them burn like the bush in the parsha, but not be consumed by them.

May we, like Shiphrah, Puah, Miriam, and Moses of this parsha have the bravery to resist external oppression, but may we also have the courage and patience to respond wisely to doubt and anxiety within.

Parshat Vayyechi

Gen 50:19-21 – “But Yosef said to them: Do not be afraid!  For am I in the place of God?  Now you, you planned ill against me, (but) God planned it over for good, in order to do (as is) this very day – to keep many people alive. So now, do not be afraid!  I myself will sustain you and your little ones!  And he comforted them and spoke to their hearts.”

Yosef, who was thrown into a pit by his brothers to be devoured by wild beasts, and later put into the dungeon by Potiphar, could have remained bitter all of his life.  Instead, Yosef was able to learn from his pain and suffering, first to gain insight to interpret dreams, later to advise Pharaoh, and finally to forgive and comfort his brothers.  How was Yosef able to do this? Over time, Yosef learned to listen to and respond from his heart, rather than his ego. While in his youth he brought an ill report of his brothers to his father. In his maturity he wept when he heard his brothers arguing over which of them was responsible for his death (Gen. 42:22-24), when he first saw Benyamin (Gen. 43:29-30), and when he revealed himself to his brothers (Gen. 45:1-2 14-15).

May we, like Yosef, open our hearts, forgive, and comfort ourselves, our families, and our communities.

Parshat Mikeitz

Gen 44:16-17. “And Judah said, "What shall we say to my master? What shall we speak, and how shall we exonerate ourselves? God has found your servants' iniquity both we and the one in whose possession the goblet has been found."   But he said, "Far be it from me to do this! The man in whose possession the goblet was found he shall be my slave, but as for you go up in peace to your father."

In the context of the several deceptions that Joseph has perpetuated on this brothers, is his statement, “But as for you, go up in peace to your father,” sincere? Joseph knows full well that they will not be at ease or at peace while returning to see their father lacking yet one more of the brothers. There seems a great gulf between Joseph’s words and actions.  The parsha ends abruptly with Joseph’s statement. It almost feels like a cliffhanger. Will the brother’s be reconciled? How will they respond to Joseph’s psychological test? Will Jacob die on hearing that Benjamin, too, has been taken from him? We are launched into the week not knowing.

How often we find ourselves in a similar situation of not knowing how things will turn out, not knowing our own true intentions, not knowing how to match up our actions, words, and best intentions. Even sitting quietly in meditation, we sometimes become lost in mind-storms or heart-storms.  By continuing to sit and observe these storms, we learn that we must cultivate a courageous patience to stay steady while waiting for an insight to arise. We saw last week that one of Joseph’s great strengths was his patience to sit and dwell with his thoughts and feelings before acting. Here, the very structure of the parsha hints that in times of great drama and turmoil, a quiet interlude can be helpful in allowing a true intention for peace to be manifested.    

May we be blessed, like Joseph, to have patience with ourselves and others, even in the midst of intense mind-storms and to reflect long enough before acting so that our intention for peace may be skillfully manifested in both our words and our actions.

Parshat Vayigash

Gen 39:7-9. “And it came to pass after these things, that his master’s wife cast her eyes upon Joseph, and she said: ‘Lie with me.’  But he refused, and said to his master’s wife: ‘Behold, my master, having me, knows not what is in the house, and he has put all that he has into my hand, he is not greater in this house than I, neither has he kept back anything from me but you, because you are his wife.  How can I do this great wickedness, and sin against God.”

One of Joseph’s greatest strengths was his ability to sit and dwell with his thoughts and feelings before acting, the patience learned from his time in the pit he was thrown into by his brothers and later the prison he was cast into by Potiphar, the captain of Pharaoh’s guard.  The shalshelet is the trop mark with the longest melody (about 30 notes) and is found only four times in the torah.  Joseph’s ability to struggle with and reflect on his desires within before acting is symbolized by the use of the shalshelet over the word “Vayiman” (but he refused) in Gen. 39:8.    

May we be blessed, like Joseph, to be able to hesitate and become aware of our desires before acting so that we can make decisions based on insight rather than as slaves to passion.*

*This drash was inspired by a drash given this week by Rabbi Gil Steinlauf (Adas Israel).  Rabbi Steinlauf and others recently started the Jewish Mindfulness Center of Washington, which hosts weekly meditation sessions free and open to the public at Adas Israel on Tuesdays from 7:30 to 8:45 pm.

Parshat Vayishlach: What "I do not know" teaches us

Gen 35:13-14. And God went up from him in the place where He had spoken with him. Now Jacob had erected a monument in the place where He had spoken with him, a stone monument, and he poured a libation upon it, and [then] he poured oil upon it.

Rashi comments on the phrase “in the place where He had spoken with him” saying “I do not know what this teaches us.”


This is one of several places where Rashi says “I do not know what this teaches us.” Nechama Leibowitz taught* that this shows Rashi’s literal fulfillment of one of the seven marks of the wise man outlined in Pirke Avot (5:8): “Regarding that which he has not understood, he says ... I do not understand it.”

Yet why does Rashi point out here, exactly here, that there is something he doesn’t understand? Something in the text has caught Rashi’s attention. He points to the repeated statement “in the place where he had spoken to him.” He draws our attention to this phrase. He arouses our curiosity. He makes us examine it more closely. What hidden treasure did Rashi glimpse here? By saying he doesn’t know, Rashi points us in the direction of valuing the question itself, of valuing the direct experience of Torah. Follow Rashi’s example. With a sense of awe and not knowing, contemplate this phrase. Visualize the place where Israel and God spoke. Imagine Jacob’s veneration of that place. Find the place where you return, again and again, to speak with the Source of Being. See whether “I do not know” can be a springboard for wonder and discovery.

May we hold our “not knowing” with awe, seeing how questions draw us ever closer to the Source.

*Nechama Liebowitz according to Rabbi Chuck Diamon. see: http://www.thejewishchronicle.net/view/full_story/4556715/article-It%E2%80%99s-a-sign-of-the-wise-to-say--%E2%80%98I-don%E2%80%99t-know%E2%80%99-Toledot--Genesis-25-19-28-9-?instance=news_special_coverage_right_column

Parshat Vayeitzei
Gen 28: 17 And he was frightened, and he said, "How awesome is this place! This is none other than the house of God, and this is the gate of heaven."

Gen 32:2-3 And Jacob went on his way, and angels of God met him.  And Jacob said when he saw them, "This is the camp of God," and he named the place Mahanaim.

In his early adulthood, before he has married and established a household, Jacob has a religious vision and names the place the house of God (Beth El). Later, when he is moving his now large and wealthy household of wives, children, camels, goats, sheep, tents, he meets god’s messengers and calls the place the camp of God.  Why does he call the first place a house and the second place a camp? A house implies more permanence than a camp. Early in his life, he is seeking – and perhaps thinks he has found – an enduring way to encounter God. He names this experience a “house” to connote it’s permanence. Twenty years later, he realizes that even insights and encounters with God have a fleeting nature.

May we be blessed to hold even our insights lightly, realizing that with grace, they may be constantly renewed and refreshed.   

Naso -

 Parshat Naso 
Numbers 6:23-26 – "Speak to Aaron and his sons, saying, bless the children of Israel, saying to them: May God bless you and keep you.  
May God’s face shine upon you and be gracious unto you.  
May God’s face be lifted up to you and give you peace.”

At Fabrangen, we teach that we are a nation of priests all capable of blessing each other.  If we look at Torah not only literally as peshat, but metaphorically as drash, remez and sod, what does the priestly blessing mean to us?  How can we allow the priest within us to bless and experience the spaciousness and timelessness within us and share that with others?  How can we harvest the fruit of that blessing - security, radiance, graciousness, and peace?  There are many paths – the majesty of words, the beauty of music, the steadiness of breath, and the sound of silence.     

May we find the path that is right for us in each moment, as we rise, as we walk along our way, and as we lie down, to help all of us as a nation of priests to experience the blessing of the infinite and eternal within.  

Bamidbar - listening to the wild "is"

 Parshat Bamidbar 

Numbers 1:1 The Lord spoke to Moses in the wilderness of Sinai…

God spoke to Moses “in the wilderness.” We can understand this to mean not that God and Moses were physically present in the wilderness, but that God used the wilderness itself to speak to Moses. We already know from Moses’ encounter with the burning bush that Moses was a very close observer of being-ness as he walked in the desert. This passage reinforces and extends the idea that insight is speaking to us from the very nature of the way things are.

Being in a wilderness is very different from being in a garden.  To create a garden, we work to shape nature to our own goals – food, or flowers or shade or a grassy place to sit.  In the wilderness, we abandon our human plans and give ourselves up to marveling at the awesomeness of creation. This passage teaches us that, rather than trying to shape our thoughts or emotions into some acceptable, pretty, and productive plan, we should simply pay close attention to the wild, spontaneous processes that move through our bodies and minds. Watching carefully and with loving acceptance, we may eventually discern the lessons that life is always teaching.

May we learn to be careful, quiet observers of the wild “is,” hearing in that wilderness whatever it is we need to learn.  

Kedoshim: Love your neighbor=love yourself

Kedoshim Lev. 19:18 "You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”

In order for this instruction to be effective, we must love ourselves in a wholesome and accepting way.  If we subjected others to the same hypercritical, uncharitable thoughts that we sometimes think about ourselves, out neighbors would not think us fair or kind. If we treated ourselves with the compassion and kindness that we deserve, we ultimately will come to be kinder and more compassionate to others.

Try this blessing exercise as a way to cultivate a loving stance towards your self: Bring into your mind someone whom you trust has your best interests at heart. With the breath, imagine this person filled with peace.  As you breath in, you sense your “benefactor” filled with peace.  As you breath out, your benefactor exudes this quality. After a few breaths, imagine your benefactor filled with happiness, and then with loving-kindness. Shalom, simcha, chesed. When you establish a firm sense of these qualities washing through your benefactor, turn to yourself. On each breath in turn imagine yourself imbibing peace/shalom, happiness/simcha and loving kindness/chesed. You might want to say “May I be blessed with peace. May I be blessed with happiness. May I be blessed with loving-kindness.” Use at least one breath for each quality. End your meditation with the intention that greater peace, happiness and loving kindness flow throughout all creation – INCLUDING YOU

Tazria-Metzora

Tazria-Metzora Lev. 14:2, 5-7 "This shall be the law of the person afflicted with tzara'ath, on the day of his cleansing: He shall be brought to the kohen.... The kohen shall order, and one shall slaughter the one bird into an earthenware vessel, over spring water. [As for] the live bird, he shall take it, and then the cedar stick, the strip of crimson [wool], and the hyssop, and, along with the live bird, he shall dip them into the blood of the slaughtered bird, over the spring water. He shall then sprinkle seven times upon the person being cleansed from tzara'ath, and he shall cleanse him. He shall then send away the live bird into the [open] field.”

While the Torah speaks of a leprosy of the body, there also can be a leprosy of the heart, mind, and soul. Regardless of whether an illness is primarily physical, emotional, or spiritual, healing may require the afflicted individual to remain in isolation until he or she has recovered. Although sickness can be painful and debilitating, the isolation often required can be used for rest, reflection, and rejuvenation.

May we be blessed, like the living bird let go in an open field, to be cleansed from our illnesses and suffering and reconnect with ourselves and the community with a new sense of freedom and appreciation for life.

Pesach: Opening the hand and softening the heart

Deut. XV, 7-8: “If there be among you a needy man, one of your brethren, within any of your gates, in the land which the Lord your God gives you, you shall not harden your heart, nor shut your hand from your needy brother; but you shall surely open your hand to him, and shall surely lend him sufficient for his need in that which he wants.”

This admonition and others like it to tithe, remit debt, and free slaves that we read this shabbos (the Eighth Day of Pesach) all have their roots in tzedakah (righteousness) and rachamim (compassion).  The instructions to soften our hearts and open our hands here are strikingly different from the repeated hardening of Pharaoh’s heart throughout the exodus story.

May we be blessed with soft hearts and open hands so that we can give and receive blessings of protection, favor and peace during this Pesach season.  

Shabbat Pesach: Greeting the unkown

 Shabbat Pesach
Joshua 5:13-15 “One day, when Y'hoshua was there by Yericho, he raised his eyes and looked; and in front of him stood a man with his drawn sword in his hand. Y'hoshua went over to him and asked him, "Are you on our side or on the side of our enemies?"  "No," he replied, "but I am the commander of ADONAI's army; I have come just now." Y'hoshua fell down with his face to the ground and worshipped him, then asked, "What does my lord have to say to his servant?" The commander of ADONAI's army answered Y'hoshua, "Take your sandals off your feet, because the place where you are standing is holy." And Y'hoshua did so..”

Joshua sees an unfamiliar man with a drawn sword and goes right up to him. Was that brave? Was that crazy? It led to Joshua recognizing that the man was an angel and that he, Joshua, stood on holy ground. What can we learn from Joshua about how to encounter the powerful unknowns in our own lives? Focusing just on the verbs, this is what Joshua does to move from a potentially terrifying encounter with an enemy to a profound encounter with holiness:

• he raises his eyes,
• he looks,
• he goes closer,
• he asks,
• he falls on the ground,
• he worships,
• he asks again,
• he takes off his sandals.
  

In our own lives, the unknowns we must confront show up in many forms – perhaps deep disappointment, or a terrible and frightening diagnosis, or unexpected rejection. Instead of running from these experiences or fighting to get rid of them, we might try to follow Joshua’s example, looking closely at the experience, asking the experience whether it is our friend or enemy, and listening as it reveals something unexpected.

As we prepare to experience again the flight from slavery to freedom, may we have the courage to face directly and to inquire deeply into whatever life puts before us.

Thank you to Rabbi Alan Lew z'l for teaching us this technique of looking to the verbs in the passage for insight into what the Torah is instructing. Here's a talk by Rabbi Lew where he used this technique to find a powerful instruction in the passage about crossing the Red Sea:http://www.awakenedheartproject.org/podcasts/leave-taking-and-the-torahs-five-step-program